I MISSED THE MOMENT

I missed the moment.
The one I was asked to document, the one that was suppose to be looked back on for the rest of their lives.

I got the text at 12:03am. I was READY.
I slept in the clothes I knew I’d wear to the hospital, camera bag next to the front door.
Quite literally hit the ground running within 2 minutes, out the door within 4.

Nobody repeat this…
BUT I WAS LITERALLY GOING 100 MPH DOWN THE ROAD.
Driving with one hand in my bag, prepping camera & one hand on the wheel.

I ran through those hospital doors, luckily the halls were empty.
I rushed into room 308, ready for THE moment.

But it had already happened.
There she was, taking her first breaths on mamas chest.

My immediate reaction was quilt. So much quilt.
I went as fast as I could & freaking missed it.
How did I let this happen?!

But then. BUT THEN.
I did document the moment.
The first flutters of her tiny eyes, the first time daddy held her, the beaming smile on mamas face.
I still get goosebumps over these itty bitty details.
The seconds that can’t be replicated, replaced or shot again.

I’ve shifted from guilt to grateful.
Grateful I missed the moment but STILL.
Grateful they had that privacy but STILL.
Grateful to have been in the room for those precious minutes, the ones following a miracle.

AND STILL,
Even when I missed the moment we were all waiting for,
I gave something back that won’t ever happen again.

And the beauty in that, won’t ever be missed again.